so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
