fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
