The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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