I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize