i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
