Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
