my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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