you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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