Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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