just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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