We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
