"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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