am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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