I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
