Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
