Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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