I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
