I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
