why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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