I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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