When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
