Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
