I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
