I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
