Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize