he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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