we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
