Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
