There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize