Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
