Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
