Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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