I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
