I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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