Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
