Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
