if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
