Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize