I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
