is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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