after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
