My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize