don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
