hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
