Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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