Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
