just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
