He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
