how can u be prego again
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
