We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
