i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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