I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
