yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize